If you read our blog last week: “5 Strategies for Speaking with Mom about Care at Home” you may be inching closer towards this discussion in your own family with your own Mom and Dad.

Win-Win…When

Do you remember the K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple, Stupid) Acronym?  While harsh, it really does cut to the chase.  Cutting to the chase however is easier said than done with Mom and Dad.

Before I explain the Win-Win…When, I want you to understand how badly a conversation could go if you don’t employ a strategy to have this conversation.

And you can have the best of intentions without success.

A Swing and A Miss…

Have you ever tried to talk a reluctant senior into breaking their routine? It is an art form.

Have you tried to introduce a LOGICAL wave of new school ideas into a very old school person?  Prepared to get shown the door.

If you’re a realist, you know there is a lot of greasing of the wheels that needs to get done before a breakthrough is made.

I have seen adult children threatened by their aging parents.  Punished.  Ostracized.  Ousted.  I’ve also seen adult advocates cry.  Quit.  Leave.  Scream. Walk away. Move away.

It can be better.  It can be positive.  Use the 5 strategies outlined in our article last week.  Get outside help.  And always frame your conversations with a “Win-Win…When” method.

                      Win-Win                        WHEN

• Delicious meals, regular diet    >  * You get some help
• Friendly visits, smiling faces     > * I introduce “Sarah”
• Stay here at home, in your chair > * We have planned care
• Medications will be taken         >  * Someone can remind you
• Hearing Aid Batteries loaded    > * Someone younger can see
• You can get out in the weather  > * You have help
• Help in the middle of the night >* Someone can guide you

All Senior transitions (receiving care at home, moving into a facility, facing a surgery, end of life care and hospice decisions) must begin with important conversations.  These conversations can go markedly better when they are a “Win-Win…When” (think of two positives before ANY change is mentioned)

Win-Win….When is a useful mindset to embrace when you embark upon this journey to advocate for your senior loved one.  Give the benefit, a 2nd benefit and then a timeline.

Win-Win…When are how we describe successful conversations with our aging parents.  These strategies are useful because the outcome for poorly constructed conversations are so devastating.

You can get more bees with honey than with vinegar.

Keep in mind:

You can get more bees with honey than with vinegar.

They say you can’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

Well..

You can’t understand a senior until you’ve:

• Drank Metamucil
• Worn Depends
• Forgotten what year it is
• Lost Your Spouse
• Lost Your Best Friends (all of them)
• Been treated like you were a child (by your children)
• Had more surgeries than teeth

As advocates, we need to first come to a place of understanding the nature and the reality of the senior we are advocating for.

Working to be in the shoes of our loved ones will enable us to better understand how to serve them.

Maya sure got this one right.  Have we done the work to understand that it’s really hard for seniors to experience change?  There are strings attached.  Strum them lightly and you can make beautiful music.

Our next article is a behind the scenes look at “Who Can Receive Home Care?”  We are often asked, what kind of clients do you serve?  We will outline some of the solutions we create for the clients we are presently serving and what led them to begin a relationship with Always There Home Care.

Ben Smith is the Founder, President & C.C.I.C. (Chief Caregiver In Charge) at Always There Home Care.

Call us today to learn more about our 24-Hour Home Care Hotline (614) HOME-CARE and learn about senior crisis management.

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