“Yes….If”. If you are a parent, you’ve employed this strategy in order to satiate a child’s endless desire to satisfy their impassioned energies.
“Can I go to the park?”, “Yes..IF you clean your room.” “Can I have my allowance early?” “Yes, IF you do your chores early”
I have seen this same strategy successfully employed by the daughters of 85 year old parents. Believe it or not, the most difficult part about getting care started in your elderly Mom and Dad’s home? The Conversation. Talking about it. Seems kinda silly doesn’t it? Well, it’s true. And yes, it appears to be a difficult conversation. In reality? It just needs to be framed in the right light.
We can help you foster that conversation with these 5 insights.
5 Strategies for Speaking to Mom & Dad about Care at Home
#5. Comfort. Have the conversation in Mom’s most comfortable place.
In her home. In her chair. At her kitchen table. On the back porch with tea. Let Dad stay in his comfortable slippers. Selecting comfort may also guide how you’ll frame this conversation. We have played many roles and we have been called many things in order to provide comfort to a seemingly uncomfortable situation.
#4. Thoughtful Reminders. Remind Mom and Dad of their
wishes. Remind them of their loved one who received care at home.
Remind them of your own desire to keep them happy at home.
This is a positive, not a negative. When we work to focus on the positive? It helps frames the entire conversation. Discuss the thoughtful elements in receiving care that Mom and Dad will benefit from. When the intent of the conversation is clear, positive and warm? It is productive. Positive. Beneficial.
#3. Reaffirm. Reaffirm that you are their advocate. Reaffirm that you love them. Reaffirm that you want their decisions to have a plan of action. Reaffirm that you’ve built a relationship with our company and the differences we have made in the lives of seniors in Columbus. Our staff make an enormous difference. We can help with those tasks that Mom has been struggling to accomplish.
Use the Yes..If strategy. “Yes you can stay at home..IF you get some help with these elements.
Now, you know your parents and how to frame this conversation to their desires.
What role might the caregiver play? Our staff have been introduced as a number of different positives and roles.
Which of these may resonate for your senior loved ones? Remaining clear about goals, roles and the benefits will remove any threatening elements.
#1. Explain what’s in it for Mom.
Mom gets to stay at home. She gets to socialize. She has someone who can listen to her problems. Shop for her groceries. Help her on the computer. Connect her with friends. Get out safely to places she had stopped visiting. I met this week with a woman who told me something rather profound about her life’s wishes. She said “I would rather live two more years at home than live 20 years at a facility”.
The reality is, we live a fuller life and in greater comfort when we make the provisions to live in comfort and with our wishes being advocated for. This is where you come in. “Communication is the currency for excellent care.” Great care starts with a great conversation. I’m here to help. Let’s schedule your conversation with Mom & Dad today.
There are so many benefits you will be able to list for Mom and Dad when you can frame this difficult conversation effectively.
Tune in for our blog next week: It is a win-win, when.
Ben Smith is the Founder, President and C.C.I.C. (Chief Caregiver In Charge) at Always There Home Care.
For 15 years in Columbus, Always There Home Care has been helping families like yours to have “The Conversation.” Use these tips to have an initial conversation and introduce Mom and Dad to our solution for up to 24-Hour Home Care in Columbus, Ohio all in the comfort of their home.
Call today to begin a conversation and learn some more tips about how to best advocate for your aging parents.
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