How many times have you seen a clip on You Tube or social media that just went SIDEWAYS? Try this link if you haven’t: https://youtu.be/xjk7hL8keuI
That adorable girl is making a snowman when suddenly, her dog is relieving itself just off camera, but right on the snowman? The guys on his knee for a proposal and drops the ring into a storm grate? The elderly lady blowing out her birthday candles…and also her teeth?
You just didn’t see it coming. This is what makes videos go viral. But these kinds of surprises are not so funny when they happen in your parents living room. As an advocate for Mom and Dad, I can promise somewhere along the way you will think “Where are the candid cameras?”.
The revealing aging surprises are terrible when they come up out of nowhere and bite you. You are derailed. Powerless. Lost in the system. Made aware of much worse issues than you already had. Believe it or not, all of these crisis and stunning realities are manageable.
How funny is the human psyche? We are entertained when it happens to someone else. We are SICK!!
Shocking tragedies are our favorites because:
IT’S HAPPENING TO SOMEONE ELSE!!
Those are the videos we share and “like”. When these sideways issues happen to us? We do not “like” them at all.
I did not know when I started Always There Home Care that the travails of so many families would be revealed to us. Instead, I have seen impossible combinations of married seniors. Family histories that would read like a way too far fetched movie script for Hollywood.
Aging is the ultimate reveal. You can’t cover up a life long alcoholic’s dilemmas. You can’t hide an abusive marriage. You can’t gloss over bigotry. You can’t hide dependency. Instead?
Mom and Dad’s Problems? They are basking in their stark naked oddity just screaming to be dealt with…but how?
“I didn’t even know Mom knew the ‘F’ word.”
In this particular case, she knew it alright. Backwards and forth. Plural and singular.
“We just found out that Dad had been cheating on Mom their whole marriage.”
The staff were always extra careful while helping this client.
“My wife’s Mom & Dad are bigots”
This was not our first rodeo. What an unique challenge.
“Mom has a brandy going all day long. Usually she’s drunk before lunch.”
Officially? It’s pretty hard to handle a fall-risk when they are increasingly more unstable each day.
Oh the skeletons in the closet and how they come dancing into the light when advocates descend. You’ll see jaws drop. Tears fall. Feelings get hurt. After 15 years with Always There Home Care, I can never say “I’ve seen it all”. I haven’t met your parents yet!
Here are a few things we can do for your parents:
See problems that arise and deal with them BEFORE they are bigger problems
Daily communication is just what the DOCTOR ordered. We often say “Use it or Lose it” when we talk about exercise. The same is true in cognitive exercise. You are talking all day long with the caregiver. These visits are stretching our mental muscles and stopping those mental muscles from atrophy.
ACTIVITIES OF DAILY LIVING:
We never say it enough. Every. Single. Thing..that happens inside the house we can do. Cleaning toilets included. Bathing, dressing, making meals, toileting assistance. Personal care. Yes. That too.
We are (614) HOME CARE. Our 24-Hour Home Care Hotline is available to ALL of our clients regardless of their care plan. If that plan needs to change same day? We are staffed for emergencies.
This is too often forgotten in a Home Care Plan. When we have carefully selected your parent’s caregiver, and they begin their relationship? They go to Dad’s favorite store? Mom’s weekly hair appointment? It’s Fun!! Shocking!! Home care visits are fun!!! (see picture for another FUN caregiving visit this week:
How can we help your loved one this week?
Doctors appointment? Visit Home Depot? Wash the car? Walk the Dog? Make cookies for the Grandchildren’s visit? Laundry? Call us and let us know where we can begin to make positive changes in your Mom or Dad’s lives.
Ben Smith is the Founder, President and C.C.I.C. (Chief Caregiver in Charge) at Always There Home Care. Since 2004, our team of caregivers has enabled the seniors we serve to stay comfortably at home…with Great Help!
Is your senior loved one as passionate about staying at home as our clients? We are here to help. Call us today!
(614) Home Care 466-3227. Or (*new) Text us: